I'm about five levels of pissed right now. It's not a good look, but it's reality, and it sucks. I wish technology weren't so fucking stupid. It seems that my external hard drive has bit the dust. It was working three days ago, and now it's not. So now I have to get it recovered, which is at least a thousand dollars to do. I have EVERYTHING on this thing. I have no choice BUT to get it recovered. And that will burn a huge hole in my bank account, and set me back a lot of money that I kinda, really need. And my school computer (which I'm currently on) has a full memory, so I need to put all my assignments from last year on my external hard drive so I can save this assignment and send it to my instructor (please don't ask why I still have to hand it assignments after the semester. It's a long story), which doesn't look like it's going to be happening. I think this qualifies as an FML moment.

Anyway, I'm at work, and no one's really here, so I was just chilling then had this happen, and wanted to spaz about it. I'm going to watch a movie or something now. Bye!

It's funny how easily people manage to drift from things, like friendships, fads, etc. etc. I know this is clearly nothing new to anyone, but I just find it fascinating how it affects us. I mean, if half the things happened to me a year ago as to what's happened in the last six months, I would've handled it a lot differently than I do now. But now I just don't even care. In fact, now I'm just kinda grateful. I'm happy I'm no longer subjected to having to make all the effort to stay in touch with someone who's clearly a dead-end friend. I'm happy I don't get invited to parties that I used to go to all the time in high school where I hated half the people there, but felt obliged to go. Actually, I'm happy I don't really feel obliged to go to anything anymore. I'm honestly just incredibly grateful for the fact that life has shown me what is, and who are, important in my life. It's made me grow and learn a lot about myself. I'm not sure if the indifference is something I should be worried about or pleased with, but the latter is how I am now, and I'm okay with it. I think this is one of the only times I've ever felt sure about something...and it's probably the first time I've ever felt sure about myself. I'm happy where I am, and with the people I talk to and still hold friendships with, and with the things I like and have learned to like, and the things I don't like so much. This is all okay to me. And frankly, as most of you know, this is a complete turn around from where I was last year. I don't appreciate life more, per say. I've just more or less accepted it.
I know this isn't a holly jolly Christmas-y entry, but I don't care (which I seem to say a lot this entry!). Something about Christmas makes people always tell others how important they are for them, and how grateful they are to have them, and all that jazz. I never really understood it, and I don't think I ever will, but I experience it as well. I think it's just in human nature, especially since it's all about giving and Jesus' birthday (for some, which therefore means thinking about him and how great he is and everything he stands for) and the end of the year quickly approaching. So I just wanted to let it all out.
That's about all I had to say. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, and an excellent time off of whatever it is they're doing. I don't know about you, but now I finally have time to get shit done. Woooo! Bye!

You're all that I need.

There is this song stuck in my head. And I was almost positive it was by Our Lady Peace, but when I googled the lyrics, it gave me a different song, and that was the only song in the search. So I have no idea what this song is, and I'm pretty sure there isn't another band that sounds like OLP like that, so I guess I am just stuck. That was my random rant.
There is only two more weeks left of this routine lifestyle of mine, and then I finally get to have a real break that does not involve being under house arrest due to severe illness. You can only imagine the enthusiasm I'm attempting to portray through my very tired brain. If that even made sense. There's just so much stuff I need to get done these next weeks. One major group project, one paper, four quizzes, an in-class test, a portfolio, a CAD project worth like 60% of my mark, a SketchUp model worth about 30%, and then three finals. I bet you wish you were me. The first two months of college were just so easy. It's not like it's actually hard now, it's just time consuming. I don't have that kind of time and motivation with two jobs. At least now I know this, so I can schedule my life a little better next semester. Though I do also need to figure out when I will have time to take dance, since soccer is now returning into my life. Oh well, I'll figure it out. having classes at 8 every day leaves me a lot more time since I get out at noon. Not looking forward to that though.
I've come to realize I've been going in and out of an indifferent slum, and I don't think I mind it too much. I'm indifferent of the way people have changed, to procrastination, to living at home, to not seeing my friends all that much, to my pseudo-home, etc. I think you get the point. Just indifferent about everything. I don't know if it's necessarily a good thing, but for the time being, it's acceptable. I'm sick of worrying all the time. It's going to give me premature wrinkles, haha. But seriously, I hate it. Life's too short. I want to just do something with it. So I will.
Summer plans have officially changed, but Plan B is turning into somewhat of a good plan as well, so we'll see how it shapes. I might go to Cuba with some friends over reading week, so I really hope that works out. It would be an excellent break, and would distract me from many things that need not be spoken of.
Anyway, I'm done rambling. It's time for bed, I'm exhausted.

To the east, the road beneath my feet

I JUST realized we're only a week away from December. Where'd the year go?

What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive.

Wooo for blogging in class. I shouldn't even be in class, but I had to write a test. The only reason I'm sitting around is because we have an optional quiz at the end for extra marks. Why wouldn't I do it? So I'm sitting here. I got a cheg, so it's helping a little. But I still feel like shit and would like to go back to bed. Yay being sick.
Okay, now I'm home. I had a nice nap, and now I'm going to do some homework...since it's kinda due asap. I just thought I'd write a real update, since it's been over a month. I'm too busy to blog. How sad is that?
Anyway, school's almost over, which is relieving and stressful all at once. I kinda forgot about half of those end of the year assignments that they give you at the beginning of the semester (why do they do that? They should know no one's going to remember until at most a week before), so I have to start thinking about those. Plus quizzes, tests, major assignments, group projects...it's all a little overwhelming, since time isn't really something I have a lot of. Thank God holidays are coming up. I'll remember what having free time is like.
It looks like I'm probably not going traveling any time soon, though these things are subject to change all the time. We'll see, I suppose.
I don't really know what to blog about. My life is just so routine, nothing exciting ever really happens. I have to get my letter to Kees sent since it's late, and spend like, $50 at Chapters this week. That's about it.
Okay, I'm done with this pointless babble. There's your update.

No one else will do, I want, no one makes me smile

Yay, new template! There are a couple things I still need to figure out, but I'll do that later. Along with a real post. It's bed time. Night!

I won't let him win, but I'm a sucker for his charm.

I'm starting to find myself wondering when I will actually have time, as in time to myself, to just relax...just time. Things are starting to get a little busier, not that school is really ever busy. It's just more time consuming than anything. But with work on top of it, and never having enough time to sleep or just do nothing...it gets to your head. I can feel myself starting to get worn out already, and it's only the first week of October. I've already committed to picking up an extra shift a week at each job, mainly because I need the money and they need the help, and I don't mind doing it. It gives me a change of setting, and I usually have a fair amount of time to do my homework while working. But part of me feels like it's a bad idea, and the other part feels like it's just something I have to do. Which it is, specifically because I've already committed to it, which is my own fault. But yeah, I just feel like they're aren't enough hours in the day for me to do everything I need to do, and keep myself sane at the same time. Hopefully the long weekend will help, since I've got two days where I can actually sleep in past 10. I think it's about time I just had a 12 hour sleep. It might re-stimulate me. Then maybe I can catch up on copying notes from slides, and get ahead on some of my assignments and studying...depending on if I have anything I need to work on. My instructors seem to be pretty chill about not giving homework over long weekends. It's like junior high all over again, I love it.
On a lighter note, Elliot comes home on Saturday, which is incredibly exciting. We made plans to hang out Sunday before I work, so we'll get to spend some real time together. We've been able to make time for about half hour phone calls once or twice a week, but we're both so busy that we can't really discuss everything and anything that needs to be discussed to its fullest. It's actually been like that with a lot of people. I mean, I don't necessarily mind that I only see the same six people all the time, because they're some of my best friends. But a) I only see them once a week, and b) there are so many people here I haven't seen in a while that I'd love to see. I'm even content with seeing them like, once a month. At least we'd have a lot to talk about, and it's way better than nothing. It's so hard when everyone's so busy all the time...I'm finding that everyone in second year uni have a lot more work than they did last year, and I have a lot less, which is probably why I'm okay with having two jobs. I'm just not really okay with only seeing people once a week, or less. It's not cool. Even though I don't get a long weekend next month, I'm glad everyone else does - maybe I'll actually see people for once.
I think this entry may have come off a lot more whiny than I intended it to be. I simply meant to just reflect on everything, and give Jason the satisfaction of having a longer post to read.
I should probably start paying attention to Paul. This might be important. Later gators.

I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive

I'm not actually listening to it, it's just stuck in my head.
J-Ho complained about my lack of blogging, so I thought I'd just put a friendly post so he'll stop bitching =)
I'm currently sitting in design. We were doing some shadowing exercises that I finished like, half an hour ago, so now I'm just sitting here not doing a whole lot. I don't know why we're going to be here for another hour.
School is a little calmer for the next couple days, which is very nice, but I have a feeling it's going to pick up again for the weekend. Which, of course, is okay, since I just do my homework at both jobs. Getting paid to do homework really isn't a bad thing at all.
I get to have a sushi and homework date tonight! I'm really excited. Glee is also on, so that will be a great break. If I'll be allowed to watch it since a certain someone doesn't like it, even though he's never seen it. Boys are so weird.
Joe Jonas 2.0 just threw something at me. Totally wasn't expecting that.
Anyway, I really have nothing more of importance to say. Waiting on hearing about Chicago plans, and then finding some time to plan SEA. But we'll see how all that goes. I'm going to see if Blair has anything of importance to tell us about now. Later.

The easiest things to explain are always the hardest things to say. I'm still not quite sure how that is, or how to get around it, but it certainly makes things more complicated.

For all of this, I'm better off without you

First day of school was overall very enjoyable. I didn't do a whole lot in either of my classes, I stopped by work #2 to fill out some forms and get my season pass, and then met with Kayla for a bit, which was nice. Not exactly stoked about 8am class tomorrow though. Oh well. We'll see how it all goes.
My not-school laptop is finally all set up on my desk, so everything is all good to go. Room is making progress.
I'm starting to miss everyone though. I talked to Elliot and Alyssa yesterday, which was awesome. Hopefully I'll get to talk to them again soon, and I'll probably give Kees and Ben a shout soon too.
I don't really have much to say. That was about it, as boring as that was.

We can live like Jack and Sally, if we want.

How fitting, haha.

I haven't blogged in a while, and I'm not sure whether it's because I have nothing to blog about, or I just don't feel like blogging about it. Who knows. Either way, an update seemed appropriate.

Things are slowly starting to piece together nicely, which is really impeccable timing, if you ask me. Everything should be finalized by Friday, which leaves me with nothing to worry about for the first time in a long time. Yipee!
The rest of the aspects of my life are slightly dull, which is quite fine by me. I'm not worried about it, especially with school only two weeks away (so, so stoked, by the way). So yeah, that's about it.

Dear Goose:

Seriously, I worry about you when I don't actually hear from you in while. Please call/text me, so I a)know you're alive, and b)we can make plans.

Love, Wonton.

On another note, I finally got an email back from World Skills, and we arranged volunteer hours. Yipee! I'm super stoked to do this. It'll be interesting, to say the least. I also got shit figured out at the university, so my schedules all done, and I'm set for the school year (basically, anyway). I think I might drive down to Montana sometime before school starts and pick up some supplies from Target or something, cause their stuff is so much better. Yeah, I'm that picky. I just like it. And, on a side note, I have a very part time job lined up, so I'll hopefully get two jobs to go along with school. Then life will be good.

Today, Lauren and I spent the entire day working on promo stuff for the playoffs. We're actually doing a really good job, and it makes me enjoy my job a little more. That's always a plus, right?
I get to see my pumpkin soon, which is super exciting. I miss him a lot, considering I haven't seen him in like, three weeks. Which isn't cool, since he's only around for less than a month before he disappears for school. He's making me dinner. Love love.

Now that that's said, I actually need to head over there now. That was about all. I didn't have anything important to say, but really, what else is new?

No, there ain't no rest for the wicked

Sometimes, I honestly wonder why I still give a shit about all the things in my life I shouldn't give a shit about. And I know this really isn't blog worthy, but I just wanted to mention it.

Don't you know, you're really gonna be someone. Ask anyone.

Taylor Swift last night was just...oh my god. I can't even put it into words. It was amazing, and that's an understatement. She played the one song I really wanted to hear (I'm Only Me When I'm With You), and everything about it was just wonderful. I'm kind of sad she didn't play a lot of her older stuff, but I'll get over that =P

That's all I really wanted to say. It's noon, and I'm already done all my work. So I guess we'll see how this day progresses, haha.

List of events happening in the next month that are (mostly) important.

Tuesday, July 7: Work, 10-5. Stampede with Becca and Elliot, 5-?
Wednesday, July 8: Work, 10-5. Stampede grounds right after that. Taylor Swift, 7-11?
Thursday, July 9: Work, 10-5. Supper with Lyss, 6-8. Alana's Stampede Campfire, 8-1.
Friday, July 10: Work, 11-11.
Saturday, July 11: Work, 11-11.
Sunday, July 12: Work, 10-5. Slo-Pitch 6:30-8? Roadhouse, 930-2?
Monday, July 13: Work?
Tuesday, July 14: Work, 10-5. Harry Potter(!!!), midnight.
Wednesday, July 15: Work, 10-5. No Doubt with Paramore and Bedouin, 7-11?
Thursday, July 16: Work, 11-11.
Friday, July 17: Work, 11-11.
Saturday, July 18: Work, 11-11.
Sunday, July 19: Work, 10-5. Slo-Pitch?
Monday, July 20: Work?
Tuesday, July 21: Work, 10-5.
Wednesday, July 22: Work, 10-5.
Thursday, July 23: Work, 10-5.
Friday, July 24: Work, 11-11.
Saturday, July 25: Work 11-9. Mom's birthday.
Sunday, July 26: Work, 10-5. Slo-Pitch?
Monday, July 27 to Friday, July 31: Work schedule unknown.
Monday, July 27: Course registration! Shit son.
Thursday, July 30: Blink-182, 7-11?
Friday, July 31 to Monday, August 3: Camping at Aspen Beach.

So that's that. If you're interested in hanging out, because chances are, I want to see you too, give me a shout after scrounging through this and finding dates and times that work for you!

The weather is miserable here. Why did I come back?
Either way, busy week. It'll be interesting. I'm seeing Bea today, to discuss her travels around Africa. I'm really stoked to see her and to hear all about it. Then Transformers tonight, which will be at least enjoyable with the company I'm going with. Sleepover tonight, work tomorrow, Stampede with Becca and Elliot tomorrow night, work Wednesday, TAYLOR SWIFT WEDNESDAY NIGHT! And I get to see Katie and Kayla before the show for a bit, which is fantastic since I haven't seen them in months. Work Thrusday, hang out with Lyss Thursday evening, Alana's Thursday night, work allllll day and night Friday (Mexican night! Woot!), work all day Saturday (Movie Night!), work all day Sunday (with all the children...and dogs...ugh), and possibly Slo-Pitch Sunday night, and hopefully sneak in getting Monday off to sleep that busy weekend off.
That wasn't very organized, but I don't care. I just kind of needed to put my plans down so I could remember them, haha.
Alright, now I'm out. Later.

You're worth this. I wouldn't trade a day.

These days are just getting more and more exhausting. On the plus side, the next two months seem a lot calmer than the last two, which is something to look forward to. It also means I'll hopefully have less days of being grumpy and irritated as hell. Yay!

Hey J-Ho, how was Transformers?? I hope it was super rad, and not throughly disappointing.

I'm going to bed. I just felt like blogging for no real purpose. Work tomorrow. Gross. Night.

R.I.P

Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. What a sad day.

My head hurts from the amount of work I have done, and still have to do, regarding my education. It's getting worse just thinking about it. I still need to call three schools (two departments in one of them), Alberta Education (again! Eff), e-mail two schools, write a letter to one, and make a personal appearance at one of them as soon as possible. Plus look into all the course guides and such. And get this all done and confirmed by the end of the week. Overload? I think so. Sigh. Korea is appearing to be postponed indefinitely, which is probably the saddest thing I've thought of since I got myself into this mess.
Can't I just travel the world and teach english for a living? That would be ideal. I'll do that.

On a side/mental note, I need to talk to John about getting days off tomorrow. I would throughly enjoy spending a week on a beach if he'll let me. I hope he does. I need the break.
And yes, I am still at work. It's 9:07pm. It's only the 7th inning stretch. Which, so far, is faster than last night. But Johnny K just said it just slowed down. Eff-em-el.

I'm gonna stop, because otherwise, I'm just going to babble. Bye!

I have to contact like, three different schools today regarding my education. And one of them, I need to call two different departments. What the hell. My life = disaster right now. But once this whole school shit gets figured out, I will be mostly content. I say mostly, because it's not like my work atmosphere is going to get any better than it is now, and now it's pretty shitty. But it's cool, I have about two and a half months left and I'm done. Score one for Chloe.

On a less babbling about school and my life in ruins note, go see The Hangover. It really is everything you'd want in that movie. Absolutely hilarious.

I don't really have much to say. I just haven't blogged in a while, and figured I should give out the reminder that I'm still around. Just busy as hell, and attempting to lead a balanced life. Actually, last note, Patrick is attempting to record the directory, which is hilarious at this point, because he keeps failing. It's awesome. Now I'm done.

2 words: New Moon.
Look up the trailer. Seriously. Looks SO good.

I think of a lot of things sometimes, and I can only manage to write them all out at work, because it's the only moment I have time.

There are certain points in my life (certain times, and certain people), who just remain consistent. And then there are those who fluctuate. And I wonder why I keep letting the fluctuation happen, because it's a consistent fluctuation (so I guess, logically, everything in my life is consistent, even the things that fluctuate since they consistently fluctuate...kay, that's slightly confusing, and makes my life sound dull. ANYWAY), so I know no matter how hard I try to prevent it, it'll keep happening. And frankly, I kind of done with trying. The costs no longer outweigh the benefits, and so therefore, I think I'm just going to call it quits with attempting to prevent things from fluctuating. I can't prevent it, so there's no point. If it stops, then cool. If not, then well, I'll find a way to deal with it. I'm just getting sick of pretending like I'm okay with it, because I'm not. So that's that then.
And no, that was not an attempt to sound deep or anything, hahaha. I just wrote it how I was thinking it, which turned out to be slightly incoherent and looks like an attempt to make it seem like something it's not, hahaha. Oops.

Anyway, these early mornings and late nights are driving me crazy. I never get enough sleep, or enough time to do things I want to do. It's so sad. But that's my life now, I suppose. Oh yeah, and I need to plan out the next year of my life, because clearly, it's not suppose to work out the way I want it to. What else is new. Oh well, I'll figure something out.

I'm done rambling now. I'm going to have lunch and maybe find some work to do after.

Can we take a ride? Get out of this place while we still have time

I haven't blogged in almost 20 days. How sad is that? Work really has consumed my soul.
I also have not been having the best week, which is unfortunate. I had an awful night, and looked like an idiot in the process, so I almost didn't show up to work this morning. But then I just would've looked like an even bigger idiot, so I figured I should probably be here.
I might actually get to go watch one of my brother's games for once! They made it into quarter finals, which is probably the first time in years the junior rugby team has achieved that, so I'm going to go. And I'll probably be the only family member there too, hahaha. Go me.

I'm slowly but surely getting back into the "I don't want to live in this city anymore" mind set. Cause I really don't. But I can't do anything about it. All this planning for Korea is making me go stir crazy and wanting to get the hell out of here. It's aggravating.

Rae: give me a call when you get a chance. I have a question for you.

Back to "work"

Hey Rae, word of wisdom: after about two weeks, Farm Town is the most boring thing you'll ever play. You've been warned.

So I'm blogging at work, because I really have nothing better to do. Honestly. Later, Lauren and I are going to be set up at the Job Fair in the Big Four until like, seven tonight, which will actually probably be awesome. I'm really looking forward to actually doing something, seeing as until I have employees and the season starts, I really don't have much to do. I have to go out and buy garbage cans at some point for the booths, but I'll wait until we have to go on our next Ikea run (Lauren and I had to go yesterday, and it was awesome. I love Ikea. AND we went to Fatburger!!! So bitchin'.) But yeah, so this job is super chill, for the most part. I really don't do a lot...ever. It's nice. Though I might look into getting a second job, where I can work minimal shifts. Just for some extra spending money. I apparently go out a lot.
Oh! Oh! Oh! I just learned how to transfer a call!! That was pretty cool.

Anyway, I'm going to see if I can get some stuff together for the job fair. I just felt like blogging cause I was bored, and Facebook is blocked, and I haven't blogged in a while

Feels like I'm falling and I'm lost in your eyes.

Why didn't anyone tell me Alistair was dating Stephanie Burk? That was a total wtf moment.

Anyway, so I'm exhausted, but I'm in too many in depth conversations to abandon them, and I'm enjoying them, so I guess I'll just sleep in super late tomorrow.

I started reading Jason's travel blog (though we're not travelling for another seven months...N00B!), and it's once again making me realize how much shit I need to get done in the next seven months...actually, just in the next four months. Eff. I keep making mental lists of things to do, and then writing actual lists down, but losing them. That's how well this is going for me. Ugh.

Also, I've been attempting to conquer cleaning my room for the last couple days (honestly, I've only gone through half of my clothes), and I got rid of six and a half garbage bags of clothes. It was ridiculous. But what was even more ridiculous was the fact that it doesn't look like I did at all. Eff. I need more closet space, and less of a mind to buy clothes. Or else learn to make a plan where whatever I buy, I get rid of one similar article of clothing. Yeah? Kay, sweet.

Bed time though. I need it.

I honestly can't believe that it's been a year...I don't even know what it feels like, but it certainly doesn't feel like a year. And even though we were never super close, there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think of him. RIP Connor Toth.

I also can't believe I'm done first year, and all moved out of Lethbridge and back to Calgary. It's so weird. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. Though I do enjoy the fact that I get to see everyone again. Schanks was actually quite amusing, simply because Caitlin, Meagan, and Ashley just know exactly what to say when it comes to certain things, hahaha. We're basically all on the same wavelength, and I missed that so much.
Tomorrow is a day of cleaning. I need to clean my entire room out so everything from my room in Lethbridge (and well, to be perfectly honest, everything I own since I started painting in grade 11) can be out of boxes and out of the living room, and have a place to stay. Really though, I have too much shit. I need to sort through it.

Now though, I think it's bed time. Night world, and happy birthday Rachel!

Your pillow feels so soft now, but you must advance.

I am slowly going crazy, 1,2,3,4,5,6, switch!
French exam: Over and done with.
Spanish exam: Over and done with.
Philosophy exam: Tomorrow
Calgary: Tomorrow
Back in the Bridge: 3 days
Psych exam: 3 days
English exam: 5 days
Moving out: 5 days

I'm just ready to go home, surprisingly enough. And hey, it looks like I might be going back to school in the fall after all! More on that once I figure my life out though.

Cause you make me feel that everything is going right.

I freaking love Kalan Porter. On Twitter: "KalanMusic: A quick studio coffee break. Can someone please invent a caffeine IV drip? Starts pumpin around 7am and switches to vodka around 3."
Best invention ever.

You're the one, you're the one, you're the one, you're the one for me

French exam: 2 days
Philosophy exam starts: 2 days
Psych exam starts: 3 days
Spanish exam: 4 days
Philosophy exam ends: 5 days
Calgary: 5 days
Back in the Bridge: 7 days
English exam: 9 days
Moving out: 9 days
Psych exam ends: 10 days (But that's irrelevant)
Hello, not having much of a life.

PS: Everyone should YouTube this guy. He's amazing.

Tired of using technology.

That basically says it all. I am so, so sick of technology. I know I cannot live without it, but right now, I really just don't want anything to do with it. It's frustrating.

Right now, I just feel like a bad person. Like a really, incredibly stupid and bad person. And I don't even know why, I just do.
Maybe I'll just go to sleep and hope it passes, because I really don't like it, and now I'm grumpy and upset.
Just...fuck.

Turn the radio up, and push the peddle to the ground.

I woke up early this morning to move my car, and then I went to the gym afterwards because I felt like I should. So I've been up since about 6:30 this morning, and I'm actually feeling really good. Though for some reason, I can't see my spanish homework on the site, so I don't know what to do...and I have two hours to kill before class still. I should probably do some other sort of homework or studying, seeing as exams are coming up. And I have one class today before the long weekend. It's incredibly exciting. I'm really happy to be going home, despite the fact that I haven't spoken to my father since Sunday, so that'll be interesting (to say the least).
I don't know whether or not I'm going to be happy living at home for the next eight months. The summer should be fine, because I'm going to be working enough that I'll barely be at home (got the promotion, by the way. Life is good.), but I don't know how crazy it'll actually make me. My dad was talking about letting me move into the basement once we were done renovations, which would make it a lot easier, but still. The idea of getting my own place is more and more appealing, though I have to save up my money for Korea and Europe, and I don't even know if I'm going to stay in Calgary once I get back. I probably won't.

It's funny how we create long-term plans and goals, and how easily and drastically they change. I always said I'd go straight to university from high school, get my bachelor's, take a year off, get my master's, then my PhD. So much for that. At this point, I don't even know if I want to go back ever...though I'm sure I'll miss it eventually. It's just not my thing right now, and I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. I'm 18, how am I suppose to determine what I want to do for the rest of my life? My mom's 40, and she doesn't even know what she wants to do with her life. Though I know it's not what she's doing now. I just don't want to settle for less, you know? I want to find something I really enjoy, and stick with it if I can see myself doing it for the rest of my life. I don't want to keep jumping from major to major, not being able to figure out what I want to do with my life. It would really help if I had a talent. Then I could do something in retrospect with that talent. But I don't, so it makes this a little more difficult. I don't know. This just isn't what I want, I guess is the point I'm trying to make.

This has become an increasingly long post. I think I might curl up in bed and read until I have to head to class. That actually sounds really appealing...Kay, doing that.

PS: Celine Dion bid on buying Les Canadiens de Montréal last night. Bitch please. Celine Dion owning a hockey team? Please no.

Oh kiss me, like you mean it, like you miss me, cause I know you do

I think one of my biggest pet peeves is not being able to sleep, yet not being able to find anything to do to cease the boredom. I know there are things I could do, like read and my homework and finish my letters, but I really don't feel like it. It's slightly frustrating. I just want to sleep.

In other news, I'm officially coming to Calgary in (technically) 27 days, and will be residing there until January. It's going to drive me absolutely crazy, but at least I won't have to do anymore of this middle distance crap. And I won't be at school! Thank God. I really don't like school. Though I'm sure I'll miss it once I'm gone long enough, but still. And I found a great summer job that I want to do, so hopefully all goes well with that. I'm going to submit my application this weekend, so hopefully it all works out. Wish me luck!

Also - Kelly Clarkson tickets go on sale tomorrow. I'm going crazy! My mom is making me wait until she calls me on her way to work to tell me if I can get them! I want to go so bad! And it's the day after Taylor Swift too, so it'll be like full day of work, concert, repeat. It'll be wonderful. It'll also mean I'll have spent over 300$ on concerts for Stampede week. I'm starting to discover where all my money goes....

I'm really hoping this trip to Vancouver works out as well. It'll be so awesome if it does. I freaking love Vancouver, and the people I'd be with would make it so worth while. We'll see...ah! I have so many things involving waiting and "we'll see" in my life right now, and it's frustrating, because I like knowing!

I'm going to try and sleep again. This is the first kind of informative blog I've written in a while...I should probably get back on that.

I never thought that I'd catch this love bug again.

This weekend was quite awesome, for the most part. I'm so glad the peeps came down this weekend, they were so great to hang out with. Yay!

It's really, really starting to suck to have to sleep alone. I'm not gonna lie.

Cathie and I had a random adventure night tonight, since we were bored. We were so bored that we were planning on doing homework, which freaked us out, so we drove around. Went to the sketch Wal-Mart, drove around some more, got viet, drove around some more, went and saw Jonas Brothers 3D(We were the only ones in the theatre! It was so awesome!) and yeah.

Okay, Camp Rock time.

I am not a fair maiden.

So Ryan sent me this text today, and it made my entire day, so I decided that I need to share it with you.
"OMG some fatass just stopped in front of me at the library and all of the sudden I don't have an internet connection...her fat ass cut off my connection! I'm not even kidding!!"
Two minutes later...
"OMG, SHE MOVED AND I GOT MY CONNECTION BACK!!!! IT WAS ACTUALLY HER!!!!"
LMAO. So funny. Poor fat chick =(

Sprinkling you with pieces of me

I finally made it to Lethbridge today, since I was stuck in Calgary for the day due to the snow storm from Saturday/Sunday, making it ridiculously hard for me to get home.
I also spent about five hours in Mac Hall today. Four of those hours were spent in the exact same spot. I have no life.
Ummm, I'm not entirely sure why I'm blogging, I just feel like procrastinating from my spanish, I suppose.
I should probably get on that though...sigh.

PS. Did I mention I have the best boy in the entire world? Sigh. This is so different, but awesome.

And he said goodbye to his best friend...didn't love her in the end

Today is just one of those days. I'm pretty irritated, with very few real reasons to be. I'm just...frustrated. I feel bad, because Trevor's been an excellent friend and actually listening to all my shit.
I started doing things that usually make me feel better, but nothing is helping. I read all of Leah Sato's notes, because I adore them, I'm listening to Nicole Hyrcha, because I like listening to her songs, I'm stumbling, because it's fun....nothing's helping. Maybe I should just go to sleep. Sleep is good. Sleep solves all.
But I guess I'll do spanish first....yes, I'm so pissed off that I'm resorting to doing homework. Spanish, for that matter. Something is clearly wrong with me.
List to conclude my stupid, ranty post:
1. If someone isn't talking to you for months, it should be a hint that they don't want to, right?
2. Emo poetry and songs are not good. No matter what anyone tells you. It's shit. No one wants to hear about how bad your life sucks that you have to write a song about it to get all your emo agnst out. Grow up. There are bigger problems than you're dealing with right now.
3. Ryan is MIA...wtf?
4. I feel even worse now. Eff. Bed. Now.
5. I'm sorry for being ranty and preteenish. I'll feel better tomorrow, hopefully.

They say perfection's always right around the corner

Today has been an odd day, filled with rushes of emotions and thoughts and instability. I hate days like this. Maybe I should stop ignoring the fact that I'm suppose to be taking medication.

Right now, I feel suppressed. Society blows.

That is all.

I'm currently sitting in psych class, waiting for The Sims to start (I found the disk! Best day of my life!), and wondering why I'm such a loser. Why now, you may ask, if you care? Well, I'll list the reasons for you.
1. I'm playing The Sims in class. That's clearly loser material
2. I'm too afraid to talk to Ryan about him getting into Capernwray, New Zealand (the same bible college that Michelle's at now), because I'm afraid of it being awkward, because I haven't talked to him since Tyler and I broke up, and I don't know what to say. Which really sucks, because I like Ryan, and I would've liked to have kept talking to him. But I'm too afraid to. That's also clearly loser material.
That's about all the reasons I can think of for now...ah well.

Cause everything I know tells me...you're where I belong

I've gone back to my red roots. Which, in other words, means I dyed my hair red again. It looks kinda funky cause I did most of it myself (Em tried to help me, though at that point, I was a lost cause), but a good kind of funky, since the part that was formally blonde is now a lighter shade of red than the part that was formally lighter brown, which is a lighter shade of red (but it's so slight that you can barely tell unless you look really, really hard) than the original brown that I have, and there are random chunks of brown. But they blend. Yeah, I'm ranty.

Anyway, that was really all I had to say. Other things on my mind: getting up at 6 in the morning (>.<), Kalan Porter is awesome, and I really wish I were back in Calgary because my weekend was just wonderful.

Bed time. Night night.

Now I don't believe you, baby, like I did before

Waiting for laundry is probably one of the most boring activities in the world. I should've waited until now to start my laundry, because now no one is here, whereas two and a half hours ago, it was super busy, so I had to wait forever for washing machines...to do three loads...and then I had to wait for dryers...which I have to let my laundry run through twice since there's so much...hence why I've been here so long.
I have a spanish project due tomorrow, so I think I may start that soon. Lame.
I also got my philosophy mark for my paper! I got a B! Yay! It's super exciting.
I need to make a to-do list. Well, I have a to-do list. I just need to acknowledge it.

I have been ridiculously lazy these last three days. I've barely showed up to class, and by barely, I mean haven't. I really need to start finding a way to motivate myself slash go to bed earlier slash, well, doing shit. I always complain about not doing anything with my life, and feeling lazy and useless, yet it's not like I'm really doing anything about it.
I'm contemplating just staying in Lethbridge until the end of June or something. This way, I can take the math courses I want in the summer semester, and I can find a job here now and I'll be here long enough that someone will hire me...but we'll see, I suppose. I need to look into this shit more.

RSL: next time we see each other, we have to do our recording shit, since we keep forgetting. Plus that canon with Kees, whenever he decides to make an appearance in our neck of the woods.

Updated concert/performance list.

Yes, it's that time again. Anything with an asterix is what I'm already going to =)

Underoath with Norma Jean and Innerpartysystem - Mon, March 9 - Mac Hall
Plants and Animals - Sat, March 21 - Marquee Room
Serena Ryder - Thurs, March 26 - Knox United Church (!!!!)
MSI - Fri, March 27 - Mac Hall
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - Fri, March 27 - Stampede Casino
Wintersleep - Mon, March 30 - Mac Hall (AHHH, I want to see them again!)
Gaslight Anthem - Tues, April 7 - Warehouse
Junior Boys - Thurs, April 9 - Warehouse
Leonard Cohen - Sun, April 26 - Jack Singer
Bloc Party - Thurs, April 30 - Big Four
The Stills - Mon, May 11 - Mac Hall
Fleetwood Mac - Tues, May 12 - Saddledome
TV On The Radio - Thurs, May 28 - Mac Hall
Rise Against - Sun, June 7 - Corral
Russell Peters - Fri, June 26 - Saddledome
*Taylor Swift - Wed, July 8 - Saddledome*
Kenny Chesney - Fri, July 10 - Saddledome
*No Doubt w/ Paramore - Wed, July 15 - Saddledome*

We'll let the good times all hang out.

I'm skipping philosophy to write my philosophy paper. Go me. I also cannot actually remember the last time I went to philosophy...oops. It's been at least a week, I think. My bad.

Yesterday, I got a roll up the rim coffee from Tim's...and I forgot to roll up the rim =( It was so sad.

Anyway, paper time!

How wonderful life is now you're in the world.

I'm sitting here, on the couch, watching my dad and my boyfriend play Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe. I'm so jealous. I want to play =(

I am happy. Really. So please don't ruin that for me.

I should probably acknowledge the reading part of reading week...

I can't remember the last time I was this happy. I'm not even kidding.

Best websites ever.

Here is a list of the newly proclaimed loves of my life. I'm an addict.
You'll Shit Bricks
F*** My Life
Go. Now. Seriously.

Every relationship has it's wear and tear

I recently stumbled across this site called Cardboard Love in a Digital World, and it's like, the cutest thing ever. The picture to your left is an example of some of the things the guy posts. It's just adorable.

That's all I really wanted to talk about right now. Oh! Actually, I wanted to mention the odd dream I had last night. I don't really remember it, I just remember giant venus flytraps that eat people, so now I really want to watch The Little Shop of Horrors...which I will do after class =)
Now I'm going to go and study for my exam. That is all.

You sold us out and took it all.

I'm more or less getting used to the fact that fitting in and enjoying my time here isn't likely.
I'm more or less getting used to the fact that people change, and sometimes the person who really changes is me.
I'm more or less getting used to the fact that time passes, even when we don't think it's possible at all.
I'm more or less getting used to the fact that I'm capable of doing other things with my life - extraordinary things - without having to worry about anyone else, or making my decision based on someone else.
I'm more or less getting used to the fact that the only reason I'm here is because of a boy, and that was probably the absolute dumbest decision I've made in my life.
But most importantly, I'm more or less getting used to the fact that I don't care anymore. And it really doesn't matter what I don't care about. The point is, I don't care. And though this attitude will potentially get me in a lot of shit (cough, studying and going on dates), it's a really nice feeling. I don't remember the last time I really didn't care about anything.

Now I'm going to attempt to go to bed. And if that doesn't work, I will try and write a song.

Some are born to sing the blues

Just to be clear, I'm very uncertain as to who you are anymore. You've become someone that I don't know, and I don't know how to confront you about it. I'm sorry.

Things I learned in therapy:

You really are the root of everything. How pathetic is that?

But on another note, I have no idea what I would do without Ben here...like, fuck. He really is my best friend here. Thank you, love <3

There are 52 days left of school. 52. This is actual, full school days. Not exams, not weekends, not reading week. Fifty two days.
I can do this, right? 52 days isn't very long. Then I never have to come back, and I can go about my life.
These are going to be the longest 52 days of my life.

Tell me there's no goodbyes

Thank God. This last little while has sucked without you, and I've been needing you around so bad.
Thank you.

I promise that you'll find him.

I'm not gonna lie. I could probably listen to Nicole Hyrcha sing all day. She has a lovely voice.

That was about all.

And these silly things I like to dwell on

Tag Rules:
1. Go to where you store your digital photos. Open the fourth folder.
2. Go to the fourth picture and post it.
3. Explain the photo
4. Tag four people.

So basically, this was on November 14, 2008, at Mac Hall, at the In Flames, All That Remains, and Gojira concert. As you can tell from the backdrop in the photo, this is In Flames. The concert was pretty dope, it was my first mosh since mono, and my first real metal mosh. So that was sweet.
Tagged: Robyn, Cathie, Kelsie, and Beabea. Since Rachel already did it =P

Was it the end - the end that kept you up til morning?

I can't seem to focus on any one thing right now. I'm sitting here, in the learning centre, attempting to write my paper since it's due tomorrow, but my thoughts are all over the place. I think it's basically because I actually finally understand what these poems are saying, and now I'm actually thinking about it. Who would've thought that would be a problem.

I wrote another song. Once I get this essay completely out of the way, and I have time to spare, I'm going to pick up my guitar, learn the chords I have in my head, and write this thing. I have a lot of faith that this will be a good one. And with that in mind, I'll hopefully be able to start writing good songs again, since everything I've written has seemingly gone to shit. We'll see.

Okay, time to get back to focusing. I don't want to have to sleep through another philosophy class.

Why yes, it is another blog.

So basically, in case you forgot or didn't seem to care at the time, I'm repeating the reasons behind a new blog. My old one was just too...well, I don't know. Poisoned? I'm not quite sure that's the word I'm looking for. But the point is, there's too much in that blog that weighed me down in the past, and I'm not going to let it do so for the future. This is me, cleansing my soul or whatever you want to call it, by bringing in fresh vibes with a fresh blog.
I know you people who bookmark are all "Aw, man. You've got to be kidding. I've got to bookmark and follow ANOTHER one of Chloe's blogs?" which I deserve, really. I have a lot of blogs. But yes. I apologize, but I'm sure you understand.

SO to start this one off, I'm just going to say that the new Animal Collective = orgasmic. It's absolutely amazing, and I think I finally found something to spend my iTunes money on. If you haven't heard it yet, what the hell are you waiting for? GO! NOW! Seriously. You won't regret it.