Feels like I'm falling and I'm lost in your eyes.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009 |

Why didn't anyone tell me Alistair was dating Stephanie Burk? That was a total wtf moment.

Anyway, so I'm exhausted, but I'm in too many in depth conversations to abandon them, and I'm enjoying them, so I guess I'll just sleep in super late tomorrow.

I started reading Jason's travel blog (though we're not travelling for another seven months...N00B!), and it's once again making me realize how much shit I need to get done in the next seven months...actually, just in the next four months. Eff. I keep making mental lists of things to do, and then writing actual lists down, but losing them. That's how well this is going for me. Ugh.

Also, I've been attempting to conquer cleaning my room for the last couple days (honestly, I've only gone through half of my clothes), and I got rid of six and a half garbage bags of clothes. It was ridiculous. But what was even more ridiculous was the fact that it doesn't look like I did at all. Eff. I need more closet space, and less of a mind to buy clothes. Or else learn to make a plan where whatever I buy, I get rid of one similar article of clothing. Yeah? Kay, sweet.

Bed time though. I need it.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009 |

I honestly can't believe that it's been a year...I don't even know what it feels like, but it certainly doesn't feel like a year. And even though we were never super close, there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think of him. RIP Connor Toth.

I also can't believe I'm done first year, and all moved out of Lethbridge and back to Calgary. It's so weird. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. Though I do enjoy the fact that I get to see everyone again. Schanks was actually quite amusing, simply because Caitlin, Meagan, and Ashley just know exactly what to say when it comes to certain things, hahaha. We're basically all on the same wavelength, and I missed that so much.
Tomorrow is a day of cleaning. I need to clean my entire room out so everything from my room in Lethbridge (and well, to be perfectly honest, everything I own since I started painting in grade 11) can be out of boxes and out of the living room, and have a place to stay. Really though, I have too much shit. I need to sort through it.

Now though, I think it's bed time. Night world, and happy birthday Rachel!

I am slowly going crazy, 1,2,3,4,5,6, switch!
French exam: Over and done with.
Spanish exam: Over and done with.
Philosophy exam: Tomorrow
Calgary: Tomorrow
Back in the Bridge: 3 days
Psych exam: 3 days
English exam: 5 days
Moving out: 5 days

I'm just ready to go home, surprisingly enough. And hey, it looks like I might be going back to school in the fall after all! More on that once I figure my life out though.

Cause you make me feel that everything is going right.

Saturday, April 18, 2009 |

I freaking love Kalan Porter. On Twitter: "KalanMusic: A quick studio coffee break. Can someone please invent a caffeine IV drip? Starts pumpin around 7am and switches to vodka around 3."
Best invention ever.

French exam: 2 days
Philosophy exam starts: 2 days
Psych exam starts: 3 days
Spanish exam: 4 days
Philosophy exam ends: 5 days
Calgary: 5 days
Back in the Bridge: 7 days
English exam: 9 days
Moving out: 9 days
Psych exam ends: 10 days (But that's irrelevant)
Hello, not having much of a life.

PS: Everyone should YouTube this guy. He's amazing.

Tired of using technology.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009 |

That basically says it all. I am so, so sick of technology. I know I cannot live without it, but right now, I really just don't want anything to do with it. It's frustrating.

Sunday, April 12, 2009 |

Right now, I just feel like a bad person. Like a really, incredibly stupid and bad person. And I don't even know why, I just do.
Maybe I'll just go to sleep and hope it passes, because I really don't like it, and now I'm grumpy and upset.
Just...fuck.

Turn the radio up, and push the peddle to the ground.

Thursday, April 9, 2009 |

I woke up early this morning to move my car, and then I went to the gym afterwards because I felt like I should. So I've been up since about 6:30 this morning, and I'm actually feeling really good. Though for some reason, I can't see my spanish homework on the site, so I don't know what to do...and I have two hours to kill before class still. I should probably do some other sort of homework or studying, seeing as exams are coming up. And I have one class today before the long weekend. It's incredibly exciting. I'm really happy to be going home, despite the fact that I haven't spoken to my father since Sunday, so that'll be interesting (to say the least).
I don't know whether or not I'm going to be happy living at home for the next eight months. The summer should be fine, because I'm going to be working enough that I'll barely be at home (got the promotion, by the way. Life is good.), but I don't know how crazy it'll actually make me. My dad was talking about letting me move into the basement once we were done renovations, which would make it a lot easier, but still. The idea of getting my own place is more and more appealing, though I have to save up my money for Korea and Europe, and I don't even know if I'm going to stay in Calgary once I get back. I probably won't.

It's funny how we create long-term plans and goals, and how easily and drastically they change. I always said I'd go straight to university from high school, get my bachelor's, take a year off, get my master's, then my PhD. So much for that. At this point, I don't even know if I want to go back ever...though I'm sure I'll miss it eventually. It's just not my thing right now, and I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. I'm 18, how am I suppose to determine what I want to do for the rest of my life? My mom's 40, and she doesn't even know what she wants to do with her life. Though I know it's not what she's doing now. I just don't want to settle for less, you know? I want to find something I really enjoy, and stick with it if I can see myself doing it for the rest of my life. I don't want to keep jumping from major to major, not being able to figure out what I want to do with my life. It would really help if I had a talent. Then I could do something in retrospect with that talent. But I don't, so it makes this a little more difficult. I don't know. This just isn't what I want, I guess is the point I'm trying to make.

This has become an increasingly long post. I think I might curl up in bed and read until I have to head to class. That actually sounds really appealing...Kay, doing that.

PS: Celine Dion bid on buying Les Canadiens de Montréal last night. Bitch please. Celine Dion owning a hockey team? Please no.

Oh kiss me, like you mean it, like you miss me, cause I know you do

Thursday, April 2, 2009 |

I think one of my biggest pet peeves is not being able to sleep, yet not being able to find anything to do to cease the boredom. I know there are things I could do, like read and my homework and finish my letters, but I really don't feel like it. It's slightly frustrating. I just want to sleep.

In other news, I'm officially coming to Calgary in (technically) 27 days, and will be residing there until January. It's going to drive me absolutely crazy, but at least I won't have to do anymore of this middle distance crap. And I won't be at school! Thank God. I really don't like school. Though I'm sure I'll miss it once I'm gone long enough, but still. And I found a great summer job that I want to do, so hopefully all goes well with that. I'm going to submit my application this weekend, so hopefully it all works out. Wish me luck!

Also - Kelly Clarkson tickets go on sale tomorrow. I'm going crazy! My mom is making me wait until she calls me on her way to work to tell me if I can get them! I want to go so bad! And it's the day after Taylor Swift too, so it'll be like full day of work, concert, repeat. It'll be wonderful. It'll also mean I'll have spent over 300$ on concerts for Stampede week. I'm starting to discover where all my money goes....

I'm really hoping this trip to Vancouver works out as well. It'll be so awesome if it does. I freaking love Vancouver, and the people I'd be with would make it so worth while. We'll see...ah! I have so many things involving waiting and "we'll see" in my life right now, and it's frustrating, because I like knowing!

I'm going to try and sleep again. This is the first kind of informative blog I've written in a while...I should probably get back on that.