I'm standing at the back & I'm tired of waiting.

I'm not too sure what possessed me to do this right now, but I just felt like writing something here. Nothing in particular, just something. I think I'm just feeling really nostalgic about my past, though the reasoning for that is also unclear. Perhaps this is a way I feel like I can somehow connect with it. Who knows.

I wonder if I'll ever stop over-thinking every aspect of every situation. I feel like I've improved on how much of it I do, but it's still happening regardless. Is this something people grow out of?

I need to go to sleep...this is just going to end poorly if I don't. One more song on 8tracks first.

Tell me something good.

The hardest part is, and always will be, picking up the pieces and putting it back together. I wonder if I'll be better at it this time.

People always tell you that you're supposed to be prepared for anything life throws at you. A lot of the time, you are. You get some sort of a sign or warning that something life changing is about to happen. You get time to prepare for it, and the multiple variations of outcomes that come with these changes.

We weren't prepared for this. I don't know how to be prepared for the rest of it. Time just came in, and decided it had your fate in mind, and it all went by so fast. I took you, and the time I thought we had, for granted. And I feel like that's something I will always regret. But I will always love you. That never has, and never will, change.

RIP <3

You know I'm gonna be okay, yeah, it's a party in the USA

I'm just going to say it: that trip was everything I could've imagined, and a million times more. I don't think I have ever been this disappointed to come home from anywhere before. Everything about that city, the people (both on the trip, and who live there), the history...it's phenomenal. Not to mention the accents are the most amusing things ever. I miss every second of it. I would, quite honestly, be very content just dropping everything in my life here and moving out there, with or without people on the trip...well, okay, with a few of them. I probably would not have had such an experience without them. But the point is, I hardly missed a thing about Calgary. I felt so comfortable, and surprisingly so safe (with the exception of going to White Castle...South Chicago is pretty sketch). I learned so, so much about so many things. Before this, I was kind of questioning if this was really what I wanted to be doing, and if I really was as passionate about architecture as I should be, and this just gave me an entirely new perspective on it. It truly is my passion, and it feels so fulfilling to know it, and to have discovered it the way I did.

I could ramble on and on about it, but I'll stop now. And hope that Facebook stops being a douche and uploads my pictures.

There was nothing in sight but memories left abandoned.

It has been over two months since I have blogged or read anyone else's blog, for that matter. Frankly, I think the only reason I'm blogging now is because I'm desperately trying to not do homework. Classic Chloe, hey?

BSD was today, so I skipped my classes (oops), and hung out over at the hill and watched some couch races. They were absolutely insane. I'm sure it would have been way more interesting had I been drunk, but still. Wow. There were so many funny and terrible things that happened. I can't even begin to describe it.

I'm having a very, very hard time focusing on anything at all because I still have a week of classes left, and everyone, everywhere, finished today. It's just ridiculous, and slightly unfair, especially after having such a time/life consuming project finish, and then being told we still have two weeks left and have to do 5 more assignments before the end of it. My school is crazy. We don't even get a cool celebration at the end of the semester. We have to pay $25 to watch The Dudes play at The Gate. For BSD, everything is free unless you choose to purchase alcohol in the beer gardens. How awesome is that? I know that it's included in their fees, so why can't we do the same? Bah, whatever. I just want school to be over, so I can get out of here and enjoy the Windy City for all it's beauty. That will be a well-deserved vacation.

I really had nothing important to discuss. Like I said, I'm just trying to avoid doing my homework.

I cannot get over how worn out I'm becoming. I'm totally burning myself out by insisting on committing to so many things. I really need to consider stopping this madness. Good opener, hey?

On another note, I will FINALLY be able to get out of this city, even if just for a little while. I leave for London in a week and a half! Yay! It'll (hopefully) be wonderful. And Elliot comes home soon! Yay! Then there's only about 5 weeks until I go to Vancouver (insert jumps for joy here)!

This post was really redundant. I just felt kind of obliged to blog.

I could rest my head just knowing that you're mine.

I got the best book ever yesterday. We were at the Beddington Co-op, and they still have those old school book exchange shelf. I didn't have a book to put on the shelf, but this book was just so awesome that I had to get it. What was it, you ask? The Teenage Mutant Hero (not Ninja. Wtf?) Turtles Knitting Book. That's right. I'm going to have a TMHT sweater. Best thing ever.

Anyways, life has been, well, the usual. I'm stuck in a mix of application forms and random other information, but no real homework to date! We had an in-class competition where we were in groups and made an addition to the house we working on last semester, presented it, and the winner gets their addition used for the rest of the semester by everyone else in the class. My group tied for first! We had a tie-breaker today, so we find out the ultimate winner tomorrow. Either way, tying for first=pretty freaking awesome. Good way to start off the semester? I think so.
I really dislike communications though. It's the most boring thing I've ever taken. I learned how to cite in MLA in grade ten, thanks. How half of my class doesn't know this already is beyond me. Sigh. Easy A, I suppose. Still a waste of my life though.
That's about all. I think I need to volunteer more. Any suggestions?

Forever, and ever, let's make this last forever.

First post of 2010. Wooo. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that it's 2010. I've been living for almost 2 decades! That's so long!
Anyway, I just thought I'd throw in an update. Life seems as though it'll be calming down a fair amount this semester. At least, that's what my schedule shows, not my homework yet. We'll see though. I do wish we had one more week though...
Attempting to make plans for the next couple months is actually slightly aggravating. Finding the best flights are the worst part. Especially since I have a month until I'm suppose to be off to London, and then Vancouver the week after (or the week after the week after). Plus details for Chicago, and then summer details, and oi. It's making my head spin thinking about it.
I keep thinking about the opportunity to take time off of school and do something huge with my life...but things are so good here right now, and I don't want to ruin that. I have NO idea how Becca is doing it. I envy her, and worry for her at the same time. I know it'll work out for the best for her though. She's strong =)
Anyway, that's pretty much it...I keep getting distracted while writing this, so I'm just gonna stop. Byeee.

I'm about five levels of pissed right now. It's not a good look, but it's reality, and it sucks. I wish technology weren't so fucking stupid. It seems that my external hard drive has bit the dust. It was working three days ago, and now it's not. So now I have to get it recovered, which is at least a thousand dollars to do. I have EVERYTHING on this thing. I have no choice BUT to get it recovered. And that will burn a huge hole in my bank account, and set me back a lot of money that I kinda, really need. And my school computer (which I'm currently on) has a full memory, so I need to put all my assignments from last year on my external hard drive so I can save this assignment and send it to my instructor (please don't ask why I still have to hand it assignments after the semester. It's a long story), which doesn't look like it's going to be happening. I think this qualifies as an FML moment.

Anyway, I'm at work, and no one's really here, so I was just chilling then had this happen, and wanted to spaz about it. I'm going to watch a movie or something now. Bye!

It's funny how easily people manage to drift from things, like friendships, fads, etc. etc. I know this is clearly nothing new to anyone, but I just find it fascinating how it affects us. I mean, if half the things happened to me a year ago as to what's happened in the last six months, I would've handled it a lot differently than I do now. But now I just don't even care. In fact, now I'm just kinda grateful. I'm happy I'm no longer subjected to having to make all the effort to stay in touch with someone who's clearly a dead-end friend. I'm happy I don't get invited to parties that I used to go to all the time in high school where I hated half the people there, but felt obliged to go. Actually, I'm happy I don't really feel obliged to go to anything anymore. I'm honestly just incredibly grateful for the fact that life has shown me what is, and who are, important in my life. It's made me grow and learn a lot about myself. I'm not sure if the indifference is something I should be worried about or pleased with, but the latter is how I am now, and I'm okay with it. I think this is one of the only times I've ever felt sure about something...and it's probably the first time I've ever felt sure about myself. I'm happy where I am, and with the people I talk to and still hold friendships with, and with the things I like and have learned to like, and the things I don't like so much. This is all okay to me. And frankly, as most of you know, this is a complete turn around from where I was last year. I don't appreciate life more, per say. I've just more or less accepted it.
I know this isn't a holly jolly Christmas-y entry, but I don't care (which I seem to say a lot this entry!). Something about Christmas makes people always tell others how important they are for them, and how grateful they are to have them, and all that jazz. I never really understood it, and I don't think I ever will, but I experience it as well. I think it's just in human nature, especially since it's all about giving and Jesus' birthday (for some, which therefore means thinking about him and how great he is and everything he stands for) and the end of the year quickly approaching. So I just wanted to let it all out.
That's about all I had to say. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, and an excellent time off of whatever it is they're doing. I don't know about you, but now I finally have time to get shit done. Woooo! Bye!

You're all that I need.

There is this song stuck in my head. And I was almost positive it was by Our Lady Peace, but when I googled the lyrics, it gave me a different song, and that was the only song in the search. So I have no idea what this song is, and I'm pretty sure there isn't another band that sounds like OLP like that, so I guess I am just stuck. That was my random rant.
There is only two more weeks left of this routine lifestyle of mine, and then I finally get to have a real break that does not involve being under house arrest due to severe illness. You can only imagine the enthusiasm I'm attempting to portray through my very tired brain. If that even made sense. There's just so much stuff I need to get done these next weeks. One major group project, one paper, four quizzes, an in-class test, a portfolio, a CAD project worth like 60% of my mark, a SketchUp model worth about 30%, and then three finals. I bet you wish you were me. The first two months of college were just so easy. It's not like it's actually hard now, it's just time consuming. I don't have that kind of time and motivation with two jobs. At least now I know this, so I can schedule my life a little better next semester. Though I do also need to figure out when I will have time to take dance, since soccer is now returning into my life. Oh well, I'll figure it out. having classes at 8 every day leaves me a lot more time since I get out at noon. Not looking forward to that though.
I've come to realize I've been going in and out of an indifferent slum, and I don't think I mind it too much. I'm indifferent of the way people have changed, to procrastination, to living at home, to not seeing my friends all that much, to my pseudo-home, etc. I think you get the point. Just indifferent about everything. I don't know if it's necessarily a good thing, but for the time being, it's acceptable. I'm sick of worrying all the time. It's going to give me premature wrinkles, haha. But seriously, I hate it. Life's too short. I want to just do something with it. So I will.
Summer plans have officially changed, but Plan B is turning into somewhat of a good plan as well, so we'll see how it shapes. I might go to Cuba with some friends over reading week, so I really hope that works out. It would be an excellent break, and would distract me from many things that need not be spoken of.
Anyway, I'm done rambling. It's time for bed, I'm exhausted.

To the east, the road beneath my feet

I JUST realized we're only a week away from December. Where'd the year go?

What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive.

Wooo for blogging in class. I shouldn't even be in class, but I had to write a test. The only reason I'm sitting around is because we have an optional quiz at the end for extra marks. Why wouldn't I do it? So I'm sitting here. I got a cheg, so it's helping a little. But I still feel like shit and would like to go back to bed. Yay being sick.
Okay, now I'm home. I had a nice nap, and now I'm going to do some homework...since it's kinda due asap. I just thought I'd write a real update, since it's been over a month. I'm too busy to blog. How sad is that?
Anyway, school's almost over, which is relieving and stressful all at once. I kinda forgot about half of those end of the year assignments that they give you at the beginning of the semester (why do they do that? They should know no one's going to remember until at most a week before), so I have to start thinking about those. Plus quizzes, tests, major assignments, group projects...it's all a little overwhelming, since time isn't really something I have a lot of. Thank God holidays are coming up. I'll remember what having free time is like.
It looks like I'm probably not going traveling any time soon, though these things are subject to change all the time. We'll see, I suppose.
I don't really know what to blog about. My life is just so routine, nothing exciting ever really happens. I have to get my letter to Kees sent since it's late, and spend like, $50 at Chapters this week. That's about it.
Okay, I'm done with this pointless babble. There's your update.

No one else will do, I want, no one makes me smile

Yay, new template! There are a couple things I still need to figure out, but I'll do that later. Along with a real post. It's bed time. Night!

I won't let him win, but I'm a sucker for his charm.

I'm starting to find myself wondering when I will actually have time, as in time to myself, to just relax...just time. Things are starting to get a little busier, not that school is really ever busy. It's just more time consuming than anything. But with work on top of it, and never having enough time to sleep or just do nothing...it gets to your head. I can feel myself starting to get worn out already, and it's only the first week of October. I've already committed to picking up an extra shift a week at each job, mainly because I need the money and they need the help, and I don't mind doing it. It gives me a change of setting, and I usually have a fair amount of time to do my homework while working. But part of me feels like it's a bad idea, and the other part feels like it's just something I have to do. Which it is, specifically because I've already committed to it, which is my own fault. But yeah, I just feel like they're aren't enough hours in the day for me to do everything I need to do, and keep myself sane at the same time. Hopefully the long weekend will help, since I've got two days where I can actually sleep in past 10. I think it's about time I just had a 12 hour sleep. It might re-stimulate me. Then maybe I can catch up on copying notes from slides, and get ahead on some of my assignments and studying...depending on if I have anything I need to work on. My instructors seem to be pretty chill about not giving homework over long weekends. It's like junior high all over again, I love it.
On a lighter note, Elliot comes home on Saturday, which is incredibly exciting. We made plans to hang out Sunday before I work, so we'll get to spend some real time together. We've been able to make time for about half hour phone calls once or twice a week, but we're both so busy that we can't really discuss everything and anything that needs to be discussed to its fullest. It's actually been like that with a lot of people. I mean, I don't necessarily mind that I only see the same six people all the time, because they're some of my best friends. But a) I only see them once a week, and b) there are so many people here I haven't seen in a while that I'd love to see. I'm even content with seeing them like, once a month. At least we'd have a lot to talk about, and it's way better than nothing. It's so hard when everyone's so busy all the time...I'm finding that everyone in second year uni have a lot more work than they did last year, and I have a lot less, which is probably why I'm okay with having two jobs. I'm just not really okay with only seeing people once a week, or less. It's not cool. Even though I don't get a long weekend next month, I'm glad everyone else does - maybe I'll actually see people for once.
I think this entry may have come off a lot more whiny than I intended it to be. I simply meant to just reflect on everything, and give Jason the satisfaction of having a longer post to read.
I should probably start paying attention to Paul. This might be important. Later gators.

I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive

I'm not actually listening to it, it's just stuck in my head.
J-Ho complained about my lack of blogging, so I thought I'd just put a friendly post so he'll stop bitching =)
I'm currently sitting in design. We were doing some shadowing exercises that I finished like, half an hour ago, so now I'm just sitting here not doing a whole lot. I don't know why we're going to be here for another hour.
School is a little calmer for the next couple days, which is very nice, but I have a feeling it's going to pick up again for the weekend. Which, of course, is okay, since I just do my homework at both jobs. Getting paid to do homework really isn't a bad thing at all.
I get to have a sushi and homework date tonight! I'm really excited. Glee is also on, so that will be a great break. If I'll be allowed to watch it since a certain someone doesn't like it, even though he's never seen it. Boys are so weird.
Joe Jonas 2.0 just threw something at me. Totally wasn't expecting that.
Anyway, I really have nothing more of importance to say. Waiting on hearing about Chicago plans, and then finding some time to plan SEA. But we'll see how all that goes. I'm going to see if Blair has anything of importance to tell us about now. Later.

The easiest things to explain are always the hardest things to say. I'm still not quite sure how that is, or how to get around it, but it certainly makes things more complicated.

For all of this, I'm better off without you

First day of school was overall very enjoyable. I didn't do a whole lot in either of my classes, I stopped by work #2 to fill out some forms and get my season pass, and then met with Kayla for a bit, which was nice. Not exactly stoked about 8am class tomorrow though. Oh well. We'll see how it all goes.
My not-school laptop is finally all set up on my desk, so everything is all good to go. Room is making progress.
I'm starting to miss everyone though. I talked to Elliot and Alyssa yesterday, which was awesome. Hopefully I'll get to talk to them again soon, and I'll probably give Kees and Ben a shout soon too.
I don't really have much to say. That was about it, as boring as that was.

We can live like Jack and Sally, if we want.

How fitting, haha.

I haven't blogged in a while, and I'm not sure whether it's because I have nothing to blog about, or I just don't feel like blogging about it. Who knows. Either way, an update seemed appropriate.

Things are slowly starting to piece together nicely, which is really impeccable timing, if you ask me. Everything should be finalized by Friday, which leaves me with nothing to worry about for the first time in a long time. Yipee!
The rest of the aspects of my life are slightly dull, which is quite fine by me. I'm not worried about it, especially with school only two weeks away (so, so stoked, by the way). So yeah, that's about it.