I'm about five levels of pissed right now. It's not a good look, but it's reality, and it sucks. I wish technology weren't so fucking stupid. It seems that my external hard drive has bit the dust. It was working three days ago, and now it's not. So now I have to get it recovered, which is at least a thousand dollars to do. I have EVERYTHING on this thing. I have no choice BUT to get it recovered. And that will burn a huge hole in my bank account, and set me back a lot of money that I kinda, really need. And my school computer (which I'm currently on) has a full memory, so I need to put all my assignments from last year on my external hard drive so I can save this assignment and send it to my instructor (please don't ask why I still have to hand it assignments after the semester. It's a long story), which doesn't look like it's going to be happening. I think this qualifies as an FML moment.
Anyway, I'm at work, and no one's really here, so I was just chilling then had this happen, and wanted to spaz about it. I'm going to watch a movie or something now. Bye!
It's funny how easily people manage to drift from things, like friendships, fads, etc. etc. I know this is clearly nothing new to anyone, but I just find it fascinating how it affects us. I mean, if half the things happened to me a year ago as to what's happened in the last six months, I would've handled it a lot differently than I do now. But now I just don't even care. In fact, now I'm just kinda grateful. I'm happy I'm no longer subjected to having to make all the effort to stay in touch with someone who's clearly a dead-end friend. I'm happy I don't get invited to parties that I used to go to all the time in high school where I hated half the people there, but felt obliged to go. Actually, I'm happy I don't really feel obliged to go to anything anymore. I'm honestly just incredibly grateful for the fact that life has shown me what is, and who are, important in my life. It's made me grow and learn a lot about myself. I'm not sure if the indifference is something I should be worried about or pleased with, but the latter is how I am now, and I'm okay with it. I think this is one of the only times I've ever felt sure about something...and it's probably the first time I've ever felt sure about myself. I'm happy where I am, and with the people I talk to and still hold friendships with, and with the things I like and have learned to like, and the things I don't like so much. This is all okay to me. And frankly, as most of you know, this is a complete turn around from where I was last year. I don't appreciate life more, per say. I've just more or less accepted it.
I know this isn't a holly jolly Christmas-y entry, but I don't care (which I seem to say a lot this entry!). Something about Christmas makes people always tell others how important they are for them, and how grateful they are to have them, and all that jazz. I never really understood it, and I don't think I ever will, but I experience it as well. I think it's just in human nature, especially since it's all about giving and Jesus' birthday (for some, which therefore means thinking about him and how great he is and everything he stands for) and the end of the year quickly approaching. So I just wanted to let it all out.
That's about all I had to say. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, and an excellent time off of whatever it is they're doing. I don't know about you, but now I finally have time to get shit done. Woooo! Bye!
There is this song stuck in my head. And I was almost positive it was by Our Lady Peace, but when I googled the lyrics, it gave me a different song, and that was the only song in the search. So I have no idea what this song is, and I'm pretty sure there isn't another band that sounds like OLP like that, so I guess I am just stuck. That was my random rant.
There is only two more weeks left of this routine lifestyle of mine, and then I finally get to have a real break that does not involve being under house arrest due to severe illness. You can only imagine the enthusiasm I'm attempting to portray through my very tired brain. If that even made sense. There's just so much stuff I need to get done these next weeks. One major group project, one paper, four quizzes, an in-class test, a portfolio, a CAD project worth like 60% of my mark, a SketchUp model worth about 30%, and then three finals. I bet you wish you were me. The first two months of college were just so easy. It's not like it's actually hard now, it's just time consuming. I don't have that kind of time and motivation with two jobs. At least now I know this, so I can schedule my life a little better next semester. Though I do also need to figure out when I will have time to take dance, since soccer is now returning into my life. Oh well, I'll figure it out. having classes at 8 every day leaves me a lot more time since I get out at noon. Not looking forward to that though.
I've come to realize I've been going in and out of an indifferent slum, and I don't think I mind it too much. I'm indifferent of the way people have changed, to procrastination, to living at home, to not seeing my friends all that much, to my pseudo-home, etc. I think you get the point. Just indifferent about everything. I don't know if it's necessarily a good thing, but for the time being, it's acceptable. I'm sick of worrying all the time. It's going to give me premature wrinkles, haha. But seriously, I hate it. Life's too short. I want to just do something with it. So I will.
Summer plans have officially changed, but Plan B is turning into somewhat of a good plan as well, so we'll see how it shapes. I might go to Cuba with some friends over reading week, so I really hope that works out. It would be an excellent break, and would distract me from many things that need not be spoken of.
Anyway, I'm done rambling. It's time for bed, I'm exhausted.
